Chicken John
| He ate more chicken than any boat captain east of the Mississippi. The man was a chicken freak. When he wasn't fishing, he always had one chicken with him in a cage, and another that rested on his shoulder. His house was adorned with chicken paintings and his back lawn was a barnyard of chickens that clucked and pecked endlessly. Chicken at every meal, that's what he ate and then snacked on chicken treats day and night. He was known to devour a chicken omelet for breakfast, fried chicken parts for lunch, and dinner usually began with chicken soup and chicken salad, followed by a main course of stuffed baked chicken, chicken giblet gravy and chicken a-la-mode pie for desert. No wonder they called him "Chicken John"; the "Chicken of the Sea." "Chicken John" had long slender legs, a somewhat squatty shaped body and a beak-like nose that resembled an overgrown chicken. His long skinny neck and protruding Adam's apple left little doubt that he was indeed the infamous "Captain Chicken John" - a sight to behold when decked out in his pastel yellow fishing suit, complete with a chicken feather in his cap. Fishing with him was an experience in itself. He used little biddies and chicken livers for catfish bait and tied his own bass lures with chicken feathers. When a fish was hooked, he ran about the boat like a chicken without a head and searched for the net, which he never seemed to locate. One day he found a deep hole full of hundred pound catfish. One was an albino cat that far exceeded the size of the others. The cats grew bigger as the year progressed and so did the tackle that "Chicken Man" used. It was almost became larger than the average angler could handle. But, each big cat landed was a new world record. When summer was nearing its end, only the huge albino had not been caught, so "Chicken John" changed tactics. Rather than continuing to fish with chicken livers on the bottom, he suspended a live whole fryer from a kite. Positioning it so the chicken's wings and legs could thrash in the water. It was John's guess that the surface commotion would attract the giant albino from his resting place on the river bottom. The kite flew for days while the chicken trashed, but no fish. Summer soon turned to fall, fall to winter, and the big fish never rose to the baited kite. Finally, on Christmas Eve, just before sunset, the river exploded! The big white fish rocketed from the water and snatched the kite and chicken from the sky. It fell to the water with such a splash that John's boat, "The Water Chicken", was nearly swamped. The fight was on! "Chicken John" against the beast. The guide was in his glory. He had hooked the biggest catfish ever. The battle raged for hours, with neither fish nor angler gaining an advantage. Then both became very tired, it seemed as if the epic battle might end in a standoff. Chicken John was ready to cut the line when the albino catfish made a bee-line toward the riverbank where a flock of chickens had wandered to the river's edge for a drink. These were no ordinary cluckers, but experimental birds that ate high protein corn, laced with a secret chemical to make their meat pure and white. The chickens that weren't eaten by the big catfish were sold to gourmet restaurants for top dollar. Chicken John watched in amazement. The big albino cat must have forgotten it was hooked. Feathers flew and chickens clucked when the speeding white bullet hit the river bank. The clay soil was wet from a previous rain shower, and the swift swimming cat slid for a hundred yards. The chickens quickly scattered among the flying feathers and droppings. When the catfish finally slowed, it rolled over and over in a futile attempt to return to the water. Each time it whirled, the kite string took another turn around its muddy body. Finally, all the string and the kite had wrapped tightly around its mid-section. The chicken man couldn't believe it. He had caught a 1000 pound cat on a chicken dangling from a string off a kite. He immediately called a tow truck and had his trophy hauled to a local taxidermist. Be reminded that small fish have...........LARGE TALES! Captain Gus Gustafson is licensed by the US Coast Guard, a member of the Southeastern Outdoor Press Association, an accomplished author and a Professional Sport Fishing Guide on Lake Norman, NC. Visit his Web site at http://www.fishingwithgus.com/ , or e-mail him at Gus@lakenorman.com or call 704-617-6812. |
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| August 2007 |