The Lying School boy
| The school boy didn't have to lie, but he did. He lied every time he mentioned anything about fishing. He even stretched the truth when he caught fish in great numbers and record sizes. He meant nothing by the lies; it was merely a way of life to him. He was excused early from school one afternoon because he claimed to be sick. The only illness he had was the "Fishin' Pox." From the schoolyard, he rode his bike home, stopping only long enough to grab his fishing pole. With rod in hand, he hightailed it to the dock of the bay. Conditions were perfect; the tide was in and the fish were biting. He made ten casts and landed ten fish. None were very large, but were a nice size for that time of year. Time passed, until brother Buddy came to the dock and beckoned Billy home. They hustled down the road, late for dinner again. Miraculously, the ten fish became one hundred and twenty at school the next day. They also grew in size overnight. The principal overheard the story - even the part when Billy bragged about catching a seventeen- pound trout the afternoon before. The schoolmarm didn't believe the part about the seventeen pounder, but she knew the fishing trip was true. Billy was ushered to the main office, read the riot act, and was suspended until Monday. His parents were called to take him home. This "teller of tall tales" spent the rest of the evening in his bedroom. He was given explicit instructions to remain at home and study the following day. Study he did, but only long enough for his parents to leave the driveway. He then jumped on his bike and headed back to his fishing hole. Fishing was so good that he told on himself when his father came home that evening. Billy mistakenly bragged about catching an eight foot giant of a barracuda that leaped more than one hundred times. He was sent back to his room for another evening of solitary confinement. Billy continued to fish and lie about what he caught. All the while, he honed his skills as an angler. Years passed and nothing changed. Billy fished and lied, fished and lied and fished and lied some more. The only time this modern day Pinocchio wasn't telling lies was when his mouth wasn't moving. He lied so much that his friends didn't believe a word he said, and most of them stopped hanging out and fishing with him. A big fishing tournament was scheduled for the weekend. No one would fish with the biggest liar in the world, so he fished alone, and boy did he catch fish! When it came his turn to weigh his catch, he had to have a couple of guys help him carry his big cooler to the scales. Before opening the cooler, he took the microphone and began to spin a tale about his battle most of the day, with a very large fish. Following this tale, was one of an even larger fish that also got away at the dock. On the third yarn, the crowd began to boo and chant, "Weigh your fish, weigh your fish!" This time he claimed that he hooked a monster so big that it almost pulled him out to sea. The crowd became more and more belligerent as he continued to tell one tale after another. They even began to throw fish heads and rotten bait at the unpopular orator. Sensing the hostility, he went to his ice chest and pulled out a fifty pound fish. The fish was a nice one, but the crowd had already seen several fish that weighed in at over one hundred pounds. They booed again. Billy raised his arms and shouted to the boisterous crowd, "This was my bait!" With that, a tow truck big enough to haul an eighteen wheeler, drove to the front of the stage. A hush fell over the crowd as the boos quickly turned to cheers. Billy had a big smile on his face when he accepted the grand prize. The crowd left the tournament singing, "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow." Hanging from the hook of the tow truck was a super grouper that Billy appropriately named "Kong". As time passed, "Kong" grew in size, as did all of Billy's fish. His most recent recollection is that the fish was so big it flipped the tow truck over backwards. The super grouper was crushed by the truck before it was ever weighed. Billy was sure that it would have bottomed out on the scales at ten thousand pounds. That's a lot of fish sandwiches! Be reminded that small fish have........................Large Tales Captain Gus Gustafson of Lake Norman Ventures, Inc. is a member of the Southeastern Outdoor Press Association and a full time Professional Fishing Guide on Lake Norman, NC. Visit his web site, Fishin' with Gus! at http://www.fishingwithgus.com/ or call 704 617 6812. For additional information, e-mail him at Gus@LakeNorman.com. |
 | |  |
| February 2006 |